Sound Pet

by Paulie Belta

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1.
00:23
2.
3.
4.
5.
03:09
6.
7.
02:24
8.
9.
02:51
10.
03:08
11.
12.

credits

released June 8, 2019

Lyrics by Paulie Belta, produced by El Steveador & Paulie Belta. Thanks to the artists whose original work we have used for inspiration.

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Paulie Belta Newcastle Upon Tyne, UK

Newcastle's number one writer of Geordie parody songs, 3rd fastest human beatboxer in Gateshead. Pioneer of the Geordie Reggae (Greggae) movement, gravy enthusiast. Radge packet.

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Track Name: Taaalk Geordie ft. Wor Cheryl
TAAALK GEORDIE

Kanye? Kanye Good? Whey Aye!!!!

Gan radgie on it!

I'm that type that'll bet on any game at all,
Geet cheap seats for the match pet: uncomfortable,
But I knaa what the lass dem need, Waaallsend to South Shields.
I've got gravy stains on me tracksuit, from off me chips and cheese.

I've been ootside the Toon, they divvint speak me language,
Where a butty don't mean a sandwich.
Southern women divvint understand us.
How, pet! Taaalk Geordie to us!
Taaalk Geordie to us!
Taaalk Geordie to us!
Taaalk Geordie to us!

I knaa the words to the song "The Blaydon Races"
Six verses isn't that long, but Scotswood Rd is!
I knaa what the lass dem want, Benwell to Ryton.
I've got hot rock borns in me tracksuit, I think I need a new one

I've been ootside the Toon, they divvint speak me language,
Where a butty don't mean a sandwich.
Southern women divvint understand us.
How, pet! Taaalk Geordie to us!
Taaalk Geordie to us!
Taaalk Geordie to us!
Taaalk Geordie to us!

Let's get ready ready, let's get ready ready, let's get ready to Rhumble!!!!!

(Wor Cheryl)
I'm coming straight oot of Waaalker, proper little ridge called Cheryl:
From the X factor with Simon Cowell
I'm proper lush man but I will gan radgie when I come doon to Greggs and I smash aal the pasties.
Whey aye ye bugger man! I've got nee choice,
So Geordie I drive a Sausage Rolls Royce.
It's Tweedy, believe me, I make it look easy.
Geordies aal start going "Eeeeee" when they see me.
Straight up proving, we can get you grooving,
This tracks booming. It ain't no hype.

Watch us wreck the mic, watch us wreck the mic, watch us wreck the mic.
PSYCHE!!!!!!

I've been ootside the Toon, they divvint speak me language,
Where a butty don't mean a sandwich.
Southern women divvint understand us.
How, pet! Taaalk Geordie to us!
Taaalk Geordie to us!
Taaalk Geordie to us!
Taaalk Geordie to us!

Na na na na.......
Track Name: Belta Like Pet ft. Cardi Gan, Bad Butty & Beige Alvin
Yeeeah petal!!!! I'm belta like pet!
I said I'm belta like pet! I said I'm belta like!

You better believe it when I tell you!!!!

Now I like stotties I like pies and I like muffins, I like Tizer.
I like million dollar deals: as of yet, never signed one.
I like gannin' to me Nana's. She likes to wash me socks.
I like gannin' to the Toon, but sometimes don't like to watch.
I like Greggs on top of Greggses when I want to get some scran.
I like proving divvies wrong. I do what they say I can't.
They call me Geordie, Paulie, divvy, dafty, doylem, whoppa, proper, Wally.
Baldy, as, Jonjo, Shelvey. Aye pet: Tamagotchi!
Gan to the Toon, to Weatherspoons, they give us a bottle of Broon,
Trebles for singles is part of the plan, have a kebab: chicken or lamb.
Tell that woman "Sorry man!" Cheesier than parmesan.
Aye they call us Paulie B, I'll wear you oot like Cardi Gan!

Pack of biscuits in me bag! (I said I'm belta like pet!)
Certified you know I'm radge! (I said I'm belta like pet!)
Got that minor local fame! (I said I'm belta like pet!)
Oh he's so handsome what's his name? (I said I'm belta like!)
I wear me pyjamas,
Playing pool with me Nana.
I miss shots on purpose
Pretend she makes us nervous!

Champion Champion pet I know Nana.
She's always at the snooker table with me Uncle Alan
In the social club, digestives in her bag.
They go there religiously with the Shields Rd gang (RADGE!)
If you ask Paulie Belta, there's nowt I like better than snooker with Nana.
She's got a few funny stories aboot fatha! (YEAH!)
She gans on a bit just like anyone's Nana
Remembering names is not something she ever could master.
It's worth getting beat just to hear Nana's laughter! Here!!!!
I always get beaten at snooker by Nana.
Cos I've got a system with me Uncle Alan.
One moves the ball while the other distracts her.
It helps her to clear up the table much faster!
And now she thinks that she's the pool table queen.
She's won every time that we've ever been.
She's potting the balls and making a scene, yeah!
And if ye love your Nan then that's what you dee
And I love me Nan as all Geordies dee
So that's why I let her join my snooker team....

Pack of biscuits in me bag!
Certified you know I'm radge!
Got that minor local fame!
Oh he's so handsome what's his name?
I wear me pyjamas,
Playing pool with me Nana.
I miss shots on purpose.
Pretend she makes us nervous!

Howay Nana gan and get your scooter.
She's no good at pool and she's also canny terrible at snooker.
I move the balls when she's not looking.
You've got to help her oot a little bit or else she never would pot nothing.
Pet you've got to help your Nana or else there will be some drama!
Proper smash a pasty! Divvint tell me Nana! (NANA!)
Oh don't tell me Nana. She knows that I'm cheating and so's Uncle Alan.
But she's good at pretending
She shouldn't pot nothing but she's potting plenty.
Nana Whey Aye! (Aye!) Try standing a bit closer. (CLOSER)
She'd beat Gary Wilson but you know she's not a boaster! (BOASTER!)
Bread in the toaster, pasty in the toaster. (TOASTER!)
Elbows off the table, your cups upon your coaster. (COASTER!)

Because I'm belta like pet, It's Paulie Belta like pet.
I'm Paulie Belta like pet, It's Paulie Belta like...

Pack of biscuits in me bag
Certified you know I'm radge!
Got that minor local fame!
Oh he's so handsome what's his name?
Track Name: Stay Señor (FORK the Owner)
Geordie Paul,

Rafa Benitez,

Whey aye ye bugger man!

Stay, stay, stay Señor (pet), stay a longer time.
Stay, stay, stay, Señor (pet), stay up on the Tyne.
They're worth, worth, worth a fortune, proper number nines.
Good work, work, work Señor (pet), Rondon's doing fine.

My manager's name's Rafa.
I tell you pet he's the gaffer.
He tells players off for being clever,
Then he sings them songs aboot Geordie weather like

"Fog on the Tyne, it's all mine it's all mine"
Olé! I believe in you!
"Fog on the Tyne, it's all mine it's all mine"
Olé! I believe in you!
"Fog on the Tyne, it's all mine it's all mine"
Olé! I believe in you!
"Fog on the Tyne, it's all mine it's all mine"

Stay, stay, stay Señor (pet), stay a longer time.
Stay, stay, stay, Señor (pet), stay up on the Tyne.
They're worth, worth, worth a fortune, proper number nines.
Good work, work, work Señor (pet), Rondon's doing fine.

Yee can taalk aboot Zlatan, Kane, Ronaldo or Drogba,
It's forwards win you them titles,
And might even get you through to some FA Cup finals

"Fog on the Tyne, it's all mine it's all mine"
Olé! I believe in you!
"Fog on the Tyne, it's all mine it's all mine"
Saloman Rondon knows how to heed a baall doesn't he?
"Fog on the Tyne, it's all mine it's all mine"
Olé! I believe in you!
"Fog on the Tyne, it's all mine it's all mine"
Doesn't Matt Richie look like Gordon Ramsay?

Stay, stay, stay Señor (pet), stay a longer time.
Stay, stay, stay, Señor (pet), stay up on the Tyne.
They're worth, worth, worth a fortune, proper number nines.
Fork, fork, fork the owner, chuck him in the Tyne.

Rafa he's a sensation.
He's doing canny in this situation.
He'll play Almiron in the pocket.
Cos he can dribble a baall and he's got a shot like a rocket!

"Fog on the Tyne, it's all mine it's all mine"
Olé! I believe in you!
"Fog on the Tyne, it's all mine it's all mine"
Olé! I believe in you!
"Fog on the Tyne, it's all mine it's all mine"
Olé! I believe in you!
"Fog on the Tyne, it's all mine it's all mine"

Stay, stay, stay, Señor (pet), stay up on the Tyne.
Stay, stay, stay Señor (pet), stay a longer time.
They're worth, worth, worth a fortune, proper number nines.
Fork, fork, fork the owner, chuck him in the Tyne.

Señor the Geordies stand with you,
Cos we think you're PURELY BELTER!!!!!
The Mackems had two relegations
But we consolidated after promotion!

"Fog on the Tyne, it's all mine it's all mine"
Olé! I believe in you!
"Fog on the Tyne, it's all mine it's all mine"
Olé! I believe in you!
"Fog on the Tyne, it's all mine it's all mine"
Olé! I believe in you!
"Fog on the Tyne, it's all mine it's all mine"

Stay, stay, stay Señor (pet), stay a longer time.
Stay, stay, stay, Señor (pet), stay up on the Tyne.
FORK, FORK, FORK THE OWNER!!!!!!!

Original song used to parody:
Shake Señora (Jump in the Line) by Harry Belafonte
license
Track Name: Pet Hinny
Shave that pigeon, pet we're gonna
Shave that pigeon, howay let we
Shave that pigeon, Haddaway man!

GEORDIE PAULIE BELTA!

Woman pet hinny, just spread that butty non-stop with the pease pudding
Just keep spreading it pet hinny.
And a cup of percolated mocha chocka what'dya call it
Caffeinated drink and make it dead milky
And pet divvint be shy with the filling that's inside
Getting thick of it Whey Aye hoo man pet hinny
And normally I'd get a muffin but I had a one yesterday.

Them Jesmond ladies won't taalk to us,
Don't want a bar of us, they're too posh for us.
If having grub they get vegetables,
I get Greggs for us I'm not pretentious.
From Hadrian's Wall, Geordie Paul's the name.
Minor local fame, women scream "Howay!"
It's all good pet hoy it on, til it's nearly gone let's spread it on.
Let's spread it on til it's nearly gone.
It's all good pet spread it on.

Woman pet hinny,
Don't mind if I wait while you're making the bait
In me pocket there's a Chronicle I've not read it.
When you're making me a sandwich
With the cheese ham and pease pudding
I don't want you rushing it.
Just take your own time and pay a little mind to me butty thanks missus
I'm fortunate,
Cos you are the number one sandwich lady but just divvint tell me Nan.

Them Bensham ladies all pester us
Got ten pence for us, I've got to get the bus.
Inna the club they stand next to us,
They nick dregs from us when they're penniless
From Hadrian's Wall, Geordie Paul's the name.
Minor local fame, women scream "Howay!"
It's all good pet hoy it on, till it's nearly gone let's spread it on.
Let's spread it on til it's nearly gone.
It's all good pet spread it on

Woman pet hinny, just spread that butty non-stop with the pease pudding
Just keep spreading it pet hinny.
And a cup of percolated mocha chocka what'dya call it
Caffeinated drink and make it dead milky
And pet divvint be shy with the filling that's inside
Getting thick of it Whey Aye hoo man pet hinny
And normally I'd get a muffin but I had a one yesterday.

West Denton ladies are marvellous,
They're quite larcenous, it don't bother us.
Inna the shop they're well dextrous.
I get the best reductions on creps for us.
From Hadrian's Wall Geordie Paul's the name.
Minor local fame, women scream "Howay!"
It's all good pet hoy it on, till it's nearly gone let's spread it on.
Let's spread it on til it's nearly gone.
It's all good pet spread it on

Then we'll shave that pigeon, Nana can we
Shave that pigeon, howay let we
Shave that pigeon, haddaway man!
Whey Aye ye bugger man it's Paulie Belta pet!

Shave that pigeon, howay let we
Shave that pigeon, haddaway man
Shave that pigeon, howay let we
Stotty cakes she, knaas how to butter them!

Jesmond ladies won't taalk to us,
Don't want a bar of us, they're too posh for us.
If having grub they get vegetables,
I get Greggs for us I'm not pretentious.
From Hadrian's wall, Geordie Paul's the name.
Minor local fame women scream "Howay!"
It's all good pet hoy it on, till it's nearly gone let's spread it on.
Let's spread it on til it's nearly gone.
It's all good pet spread it on.

Them Bensham ladies all pester us.......
Track Name: Keegan Waaalked ft. Kanye Good
Ronnie Gill!!!!
We're at wors...Look North's on the television, Great Britain.
Geordie Paul...
I've got his autobiography on me shelf.

(Keegan Walked) Pet hinny Howay the directors just broke him doon!
(Keegan Walked Away)

Ye knaa what the North-East is: the home of cheap drinks
Where reckless (DIVVIES) come to drink their trebles
And Z-List (DIVVIES) get to represent us
Somebody tell these (DIVVIES) who Spuggy Fresh is!
I waalk through Team Valley with a saveloy, yes kids!
Cockneys come along with jellied eels for breath mints.
Michael Ashley, Lee Charnely.
Choked by directors Whey Aye, check the records!
Ask why he left us: Ashley's horrendous.
They say things like he eats packets of crisps for breakfast!
He eats packets of crisps, lots of flavours,
Beefy Hula Hoops, Pickled Onion Space Raiders!
Sports Direct queue looks like a scene from Shameless!
Nana used to say Kevin Keegan will save us.
Well Nana, I knaa you love the Toon,
But you've got to remember what Mike Ashley do, that's why

(KEEGAN WALKED) Pet hinny howay the directors just broke him doon!
The only thing that I pray is that me team don't fail us noo!
And I divvint think there's nowt that he can dee now to right his wrangs!
I want to hope but Ash just ain't spent no cash for so long!

Pet hinny howay the directors just broke him dooooon!
The only thing that I pray is that me team divvint fail us noo!
And I divvint think there's nowt that he can do now to right his wrangs!


To the Scousers, Mancs, supporters of Aston Villa, even Crystal Palace
(I will love it if we beat them)
AFC Wimbledon at theirs, if we beat them fair and square then fair's fair!
(I will love it if we beat them)
Now Peter Beardsley is a teeny-weeny genius and I'm sure that he would easy peasy still get in the team see?
Cos clearly, now I divvint knaa what you think
But he looked just like Lionel Messi at times on the pitch.
Now I ain't here to argue aboot his facial features,
I'm here to talk Milburns and Mirandinhas.
I'm just saying Howay the Toon needs heroes
And the way Ashley spends cash there's just no way to achieve this.
So here goes: the simpleton won't even hear this
You put up a statue that doesn't look anything like Alan Shearer!
And by the way, don't you think that it's just great
If I ask Metro FM, me record won't get played.
And if this takes away from me spins,
It'll probably take away from me means,
Which I knaa will take away from me beans
But pet howay man, they're doing nowt!
Next time I'm in the pub, everyone be singing oot!

(KEEGAN WALKED) Pet hinny howay the directors just broke him doon!
The only thing I pray is that me team divving fail us noo!
Track Name: Bingo Bong
Nana was Queen of the Bingo, Granda sold the cheap tobacco
Every Thursday night we'd gan and hang oot at the Bingo.
Every Geordie wants to be in my place instead of me
Cos I'm the King of Bingo baby I'm the King of Bingo pet.

I went to the bingo where they drink a lot of stout,
With me Nana and me Granda just to play a couple rounds
Then I play my music for the women from the chippy
But they divvint really like us and they divvint like me music!

I'm the King of the Bingo, King of the Bingo
Hear me when I call "HOUSE!"
King of the Bingo, King of the Bingo
Hear me when I call

Nobody else can be in my place instead of me,
Cos I'm bound to go radgie like me Grandad at the bookies.
When I play a couple rounds I might lose a few quid how
But I'm the King of Bingo baby I'm the King of Bingo pet.

King of the Bingo, King of the Bingo
Hear me when I call "HOUSE!"
King of the Bingo, King of the Bingo
Hear me when I call

They say that I'm a clown making lethal Geordie sounds.
They say there is no place for little doylems in this town
Nobody else can be in my place instead of me,
Cos I'm bound to go radgie like me Grandad at the bookies.

I'm the King of the Bingo, King of the Bingo
Hear me when I call "HOUSE!"
King of the Bingo, King of the Bingo
Hear me when I call

Hangin' oot at bingo all the pens belong to me
I'm so happy there's nobody in my place instead of me.
When I play a couple rounds I might lose a few quid how
But I'm the King of Bingo baby I'm the King of Bingo

King of the Bingo, King of the Bingo
Hear me when I call "HOUSE!"
King of the Bingo, King of the Bingo
Hear me when I call

Nana was Queen of the Bingo, Granda sold the cheap tobacco
Every Thursday night we'd gan and hang oot at the Bingo.
Every Geordie wants to be in my place instead of me
Cos I'm the King of Bingo baby I'm the King of Bingo "HOUSE!"
Track Name: UpToon Drunk ft. Broon-Ale Mars
This city is ice-cold, we're shipbuilders, we mine coal.
This one's for them Toon girls, them Geordie girls, straight pasty-eaters!
Sharon, Howay! Give us a lift to the chippy!
Play Chuck's song and we'll sing along
Howay divvint be daft man you divvy!

I'm Toon mad! (HOW MAN!)
Punching police horses isn't right though man!
I'm Toon mad! (HOW MAN!)
Wish Alan Shearer hadn't retired man!
I'm Toon mad! (HOW MAN!)
Say Howay and say Whey Aye Man!
I'm Toon mad! (HOW MAN!)
And me band is called U.B. Geordie, break it doon....

Girls drinking in the Toon (EEH)
Blokes drinking in the Toon (EEH)
Binge drinking in the Toon (EEH)
That's UpToon drunken divvies for you! (EEH)
That's UpToon drunken divvies for you!
That's UpToon drunken divvies for you!
Cos it's Saturday night an Newcastle lost!
I don't believe what I just watched! HOWAY!!!
I don't believe what I just watched! HOWAY!!!
I don't believe what I just watched! I don't believe what I just watched!
I don't believe what I just watched! I don't believe what I just watched!
HEW, HEW, HEW, HEW!!!!

STOP! Had on a minute!
Fill my cup, Exhibition in it!
The bouncer's face: not impressed.
Julia? She's a mess!
Half the bars on Collingwood St are jam packed full of divvies.
She got so drunk she got thrown out because she started to get a bit lippy

I'm Toon mad! (HOW MAN!)
Punching police horses isn't right though man!
I'm Toon mad! (HOW MAN!)
Wish Alan Shearer hadn't retired man!
I'm Toon mad! (HOW MAN!)
Pet say Howay and say Whey Aye Man!
I'm Toon mad! (HOW MAN!)
And me band is called U.B. Geordie, break it doon....

Girls drinking in the Toon (EEH)
Blokes drinking in the Toon (EEH)
Binge drinking in the Toon (EEH)
That's UpToon drunken divvies for you! (EEH)
That's UpToon drunken divvies for you!
That's UpToon drunken divvies for you!
Cos it's Saturday night an Newcastle lost!
I don't believe what I just watched! HOWAY!!!
I don't believe what I just watched! HOWAY!!!
I don't believe what I just watched! I don't believe what I just watched!
I don't believe what I just watched! I don't believe what I just watched!
HEW, HEW, HEW, HEW!!!!

Alreet, before we bool, I've got one more thing I want to taalk to yiz aboot.

Up, Toon, Mortal drunk. UpToon Mortal drunk....

Come on, that's the Bigg Market, it's covered in vomit.
Every weekend they're on it. When you think about it it's horrid!
That's the Bigg Market, it's covered in vomit,
Cos it's Saturday night an Newcastle lost!
I don't believe what I just watched! HOWAY!!!
I don't believe what I just watched! HOWAY!!!
I don't believe what I just watched! I don't believe what I just watched!
I don't believe what I just watched! I don't believe what I just watched!
HEW, HEW, HEW, HEW!!!!

Up, Toon, Mortal drunk. UpToon Mortal drunk.....
Track Name: Gimme a Pint
Just gimme a pint.... Just gimme a pint..... Geordie Paul!

Just gimme a pint of sausage rolls
(PASS ANOTHER BOTTLE OF DOG)
Does it look like I mind if they're hot or cold?
Just watch em gannin' down my throat
I'll be baking a pie when I got the dough
(PASS ANOTHER BOTTLE OF DOG!)
If you divvint try then you're not to know.

Good idea suggester, ye bugger what a belta!
Serviette around your neck just in case you mess up.
Have a little tester, dip it in some ketchup,
Because whan Paulie says that this scran is belta, this is getting telt man
GRAVY and Greggs man
Proper Geordie bait so ye knaa you got fed man.
Dunk in the pastry with the sausage in the centre.
And later on you can thank Paulie Belta!

Just gimme a pint of sausage rolls
(PASS ANOTHER BOTTLE OF DOG)
Does it look like I mind if they're hot or cold?
Just watch em gannin' down my throat
I'll be baking a pie when I got the dough
(PASS ANOTHER BOTTLE OF DOG!)
If you divvint try then you're not to know.

One two three four five of them
Stick a little gravy in a pint again
I like to have me pastry with some sausages inside of them
A pint of them, hundred percent easy eat a pint of them
Any more than that I think is more than I'd require pet
I'd like to bet. PET have you seen the ruddy size of them?
Proper sausage rolls that haven't got offal inside of them
Delightful pet! Some drink Broon and some have cider
Where there's woman wearing nothing when its minus ten

Just gimme a pint of sausage rolls
(PASS ANOTHER BOTTLE OF DOG)
Does it look like I mind if they're hot or cold?
Just watch em gannin' down my throat
I'll be baking a pie when I got the dough
(PASS ANOTHER BOTTLE OF DOG!)
If you divvint try then you're not to know.

Good idea suggester, ye bugger what a belta!
Serviette around your neck just in case you mess up.
Have a little tester, dip it in some ketchup,
Because whan Paulie says that this scran is belta, this is getting telt man
GRAVY and Greggs man
Proper Geordie bait so ye knaa you got fed man.
Dunk in the pastry with the sausage in the centre.
And later on you can thank Paulie Belta!

Just gimme a pint of sausage rolls
(PASS ANOTHER BOTTLE OF DOG)
Does it look like I mind if they're hot or cold?
Just watch em gannin' down my throat
I'll be baking a pie when I got the dough
(PASS ANOTHER BOTTLE OF DOG!)
If you divvint try then you're not to know.

One two three four five of them
Stick a little gravy in a pint again
I like to have me pastry with some sausages inside of them
A pint of them, hundred percent easy eat a pint of them
Any more than that I think is more than I'd require pet
I'd like to bet. PET have you seen the ruddy size of them?
Proper sausage rolls that haven't got offal inside of them
Delightful pet! Some drink Broon and some have cider
Where there's woman wearing nothing when its minus ten
Track Name: Howay Though
Howay though, howay though
I'll get wrang if I don't go home.
Howay! Eeh howay eeh howay eeh howay eeh howay though.
I'll get wrang if I don't go home.

Work at Greggs and I drink that Broon.
I'll get wrang if I don't go home.
Shop for Nana whan I pass through Toon.
I'll get wrang if I don't go home.
Come Mr Taxi man carry this for Nana
I'll get wrang if I don't go home.
Come Mr Taxi man carry this for Nana
I'll get wrang if I don't go home.
This six pack of Pickled Onion Monster Munch!
I'll get wrang if I don't go home.
Six pack, Flaming Hot Monster Munch!
I'll get wrang if I don't go home.

Howay! Eeh howay though!
I'll get wrang if I don't go home.
Howay! Ehh howay eeh howay eeh howay eeh howay though!
I'll get wrang if I don't go home.

A beautiful bunch of flowers for Nana
I'll get wrang if I don't go home.
Divvint tell her they're taxed from ASDA
I'll get wrang if I don't go home.
Like the six pack of Pickled Onion Monster Munch!
I'll get wrang if I don't go home.
Six pack, Flaming Hot Monster Munch!

Howay! Eeh howay though!
I'll get wrang if I don't go home.
Howay! Ehh howay eeh howay eeh howay eeh howay though!
I'll get wrang if I don't go home.

Come Mr Taxi man carry this for Nana
I'll get wrang if I don't go home.
Come Mr Taxi man carry this for Nana
I'll get wrang if I don't go home.

Howay! Eeh howay though!
I'll get wrang if I don't go home.
Howay! Ehh howay eeh howay eeh howay eeh howay though!
I'll get wrang if I don't go home.
Track Name: Greggs Gon Give It to Ya ft. D.M. Greggz
Hew!!! Hew!!! Hew man!!!
Divvint get it twisted! This wrap is mine Mother!!!!
That's not what you ORDERED!!!!!
Watch what you're eating, watch what you're eating... listen

Greggs Gon Give It to Ya
Wait for you to get it on your own pet? Greggs now deliver to you
Knock, knock open up the door it's really
A driver to drop off a pastry meal.
Cold pop getting fizzy with it.
And they do such a good tart it would make your Grandmother wonder if she made it!
That's right and they dee an eclair,
And they're that nice that I got some in!
Bake bread that is legendary.
No matter how many baps they're baking
Well they bake them tremendously.
My mother never wants nothing, that's what she says
But then she nicks it from my plate.
I'm saying "HOW!!!" She doesn't even say please
But I won't be the one ending up without these pasties.
If the only thing you have to take is what's on my plate
Then stay oot me way Mother!!!!

Thirty Cottage PIES, twenty Sausage ROLLS, fifty cans of POP!!!
Brought to the door!!
Greggs gon give It to ya, they're gon' bring it to ya
Greggs gon' give it to ya, they now deliver to ya!
Thirty Cottage PIES, twenty Sausage ROLLS, fifty cans of POP!!!
Brought to the door!!
Greggs gon give It to ya, they're gon' bring it to ya
Greggs gon' give it to ya, they now deliver to ya!

Greggs never baked nothing yucky!
Every time I turn around me mam's got it planned out nicking something from me.
I'm quite hungry so she can't have it.
Let's leave it at that cos I ain't finished
Eating them foodSTUFFS!!!! And it's a great dinner
Best sausage rolls in the world canny good pet.
Super Greggs meals, Super Greggs food!
Whatever, whenever, I love everything they do.
I can wolf down pease pudding
Give us a minute, and you know that I will.
Come on and get the beans open!
They've been doing this for eighty years.
If you want some pastry, stay right here!
They put in work making cakes for the kids.
Proper scran for a couple of quid.
We aal know, who they be.
Looking for nothing else for me tea.

Thirty Cottage PIES, twenty Sausage ROLLS, fifty cans of POP!!!
Brought to the door!!
Greggs gon give It to ya, they're gon' bring it to ya
Greggs gon' give it to ya, they now deliver to ya!
Thirty Cottage PIES, twenty Sausage ROLLS, fifty cans of POP!!!
Brought to the door!!
Greggs gon give It to ya, they're gon' bring it to ya
Greggs gon' give it to ya, they now deliver to ya!

Ay yo where's my chicken wrap?
I know they've been in the game for so long making wicked SNACKS!
Ate so much for so long
So I wrote a few songs.
A shout to the Tyneside stotties.
They bounce on the floor then that does it!
They knead any amount of dough!
It's about getting down with proper scran pet how!

Thirty Cottage PIES, twenty Sausage ROLLS, fifty cans of POP!!!
Brought to the door!!
Greggs gon give It to ya, they're gon' bring it to ya
Greggs gon' give it to ya, they now deliver to ya!
Thirty Cottage PIES, twenty Sausage ROLLS, fifty cans of POP!!!
Brought to the door!!
Greggs gon give It to ya, they're gon' bring it to ya
Greggs gon' give it to ya, they now deliver to ya!

Products mentioned are for illustrative purposes only. Geordie Paul accepts no responsibility for wildly inaccurate representations of products and/or services that may or may not be offered by your local Greggs.
Track Name: Coal Digger ft. Kanye Good
It gets me mucky, but I'm alreet! Yeah we some mining, men indeed!
Oh he's a coal digger, way underground, that digs for me...

I ain't saying he's a coal digger,
But he ain't fettling no broke boats.
I ain't saying he's a coal digger,
But he ain't fettling no boat rigging.
Howay pet, howay geddoon!
Howay pet, howay geddoon!
Howay pet, howay geddoon!
Howay pet, howay...

Footy is on, watch it up the Toon in a bar,
With a massive bag of scones tucked up under me arm.
I said, "They're not very hot but they're properly waaarm
"I've got sausage rolls an'all and I put a couple up on the bar
"And I'm looking for me Nan have you seen her?"
Me barber telt us I'm gannin' baldy like Shearer,
Thinning like Rafa Benitez.
Got nee wedge, and that's why I cannot gan up to St. James.
I went oot with the kids, they aal brought their friends,
I spent it on the bairns, when will I ever learn?
We all went to dinner and I had to pay,
I said "You're not getting oot until you finish your plate
"Ye knaa why? Food costs too much in Gosforth!"
One of the little divvies even ordered the lobster!
I wish I'd stayed in and gave them cake and custard!
And I know what you're all gonna say, you silly bugger.

I ain't saying he's a coal digger,
But he ain't fettling no broke boats.
I ain't saying he's a coal digger,
But he ain't fettling no boat rigging.
Howay pet, howay geddoon!
Howay pet, howay geddoon!
Howay pet, howay geddoon!
Howay pet, howay...

Eighteen beers, eighteen beers!
I'll end up absolutely mortal after eighteen beers!
I know the Geordies have got the best support for wor team
And playing for Newcastle is living the dream.
You can see them on BT Sport or Super Sunday.
I like to watch me football with a pint in the Strawberry.
But how we gonna win titles with no money?
Shame on the Cockneys who are tight with their money!
There's no point looking at Michael for no money
Even though we were assured that we'd get all the money!
What a load of junk, but Rafa kept the team up, kept the team up!
He's someone that we're lucky to have
And when Ashley leaves we're gonna be so glad
Eighteen beers, eighteen beers!
That's what I'll drink on the day that Mike Ashley leaves!

I ain't saying he's a coal digger,
But he ain't fettling no broke boats.
I ain't saying he's a coal digger,
But he ain't fettling no boat rigging.
Howay pet, howay geddoon!
Howay pet, howay geddoon!
Howay pet, howay geddoon!
Howay pet, howay...

Now if he sells to an oil baron that's alreet!
Once we get him out the club mebbees he'll buy Leeds:
They'll go out all the cups and stay in the lower leagues.
A divvy like Ashley can ruin your dreams.
Thieving oxygen, watch him!
You wouldn't want your bairns to taalk in that accent!
He's go that figure like he ate all the pies
And he'll promise the earth while he's telling you lies.
And maybe a Sheikh will arrive,
And if the dude's balling then yeah that's nice!
We'll keep supporting the side once we're rid of Michael!
Eeh I can't wait until we buy a title haha!!!!!

Howay pet, howay geddoon!
Howay pet, howay geddoon!
Howay pet, howay geddoon!
Howay pet, howay...